There are No Words...

...To tell you how happy I was to discover this little Christmas Miracle. I've been out on vacation the past week enjoying family, food, and best of all- freedom. But alas, my return to work was inevitable. I've been dreading sorting through the hundreds of resumes waiting for me, but The Universe had a little treat waiting for me. Seeing as I'm feeling so festive, I decided to share the Christmas spirit with you.

Allow me to introduce you to Jasmine. She studied criminal law, She lives here in Los Angeles, and she would like to be considered for an administrative assistant position we have available working for an investment firm downtown. Oh, I almost forgot- She's 26, she's 115lbs, 5'6'', and her measurements are 32C-24-34.  How do I know this? Because she put it on her resume- that's why. Everyone knows that it's imperative to include your measurements on your resume. Hilarious. Just when I was about to hit 'delete' and move on with my life, I saw a link on her resume. My interest peaked, I clicked on it. Here's what was in store for me:

She seems like she has excellent computer skills.

This link was on her RESUME for an administrative assistant position!! I understand that LA is full of actors, musicians, makeup artists, prostitutes, etc. I assure you I don't judge. But perhaps a separate administrative resume sans the porn may be prudent? To each his own. Just saying. Did I call her for the position? No, I did not. Did I stare at these pictures longer than necessary? Perhaps. Am I mildly questioning my sexuality? I most certainly am. Bitch looks good in a bikini.

SHOUT OUT: I would like to dedicate this post to my biggest fan, The Bitchy Waiter. I can call him my biggest fan because he literally is the only person who's posted a comment on my blog- something I'm extremely proud of. You have to understand that I love this guy's blog so to know that he is one of my 15 viewers is a huge accomplishment in my little blog world. As a former waitress, his stories never cease to crack me up. It's my favorite way to not work when I'm at work. So to the BW, (can I call you that?) Thanks for reading this and.... I love you. Seriously. (too much?) Check out his blog: http://thebitchywaiter.blogspot.com/.