Monday, December 20, 2010

Cold Calling

Late last week I received some less than ideal news. Some truly terrible, deplorable news. Sue, the owner of the company, is really starting to show her true colors and I can't say that I'm a fan. I'm starting to learn that she only cares about $$$. Such a clich√©. So last week she pulls me aside and blurts out the words that every employee fears and dreads with their whole being...

"We're ready for you to begin cold calling."

Why couldn't she just fire me? Cold calling? I was under the impression that I was far too pretty to be cold calling. Why don't you just stick me outside on the corner with one of those flippy signs? I could at least get some quality time outdoors and get freaky with my ipod. Cold calling is the worst thing ever. Ever. I will do anything in my power to not cold call anyone.

Don't get me wrong. I knew this day was coming. During my interview Sue made it very clear that she only wanted someone who was comfortable with sales. So I may or may not have said something along the lines of "Oh that won't be a problem. I'm experienced with cold calling from a previous job and I really enjoy the challenge (big smile)." Vomit. So yeahhhh... I may have had this coming. But who doesn't lie in an interview?! It's like a first date. Do you think I let my boyfriend know that i'm about 4x gassier than your average obese male right away? Hell no. That's more of a third date situation. By then he's already hooked on my beauty and charm and he can't turn back.

Let this blog be my witness... I will do anything and everything in my power to get out of this. Luckily it's the week before Christmas so the owners are out of town and no one really expects anyone to get any work done... at least that's my plan.


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