Tuesday, October 5, 2010

New Beginnings

I’m sitting here at my new job in my 5x5 cell cubicle, wearing an outfit that can only be described as “business casual”… I can’t help but ask myself the following question: “what the balls are you doing???”

Well… I can actually answer that question. And I feel fortunate for that because when I look around at the lemmings in surrounding cubicles- I’m not so sure they’ve even asked that question let alone are they able to answer it. So to answer my own question- what I am doing is this… I accepted whatever job would pay the most (and provided the most vacation/sick days), and I am using the shit out of said company until I have enough money in my savings to peace out. I plan to work here until I have saved $20,000 and then I am going to travel the world with my other half for as long as humanly possible. That’s right. I’m dreaming of a world where I don’t have to wake up at 6:45am (more like 7:10 after I hit snooze 5 times), leave my house in a frenzy with a mug in hand, brave the LA traffic (while doing my makeup in the car), and get home at 6:08pm with a headache. And I don’t want to wear fucking business pants anymore. It’s too Midwest- any woman in business pants looks like and IS a lesbian- that’s all there is to it. The only kind of lesbianism I’m interested in is the real kind- when I’m going through a “self discovery” phase in India and I end up tripping on acid and making out with an Indian Princess.

SO here I am. This is my 3rd week. I already have so much to vent about that I have realized the only way to make it through the next few years (or however long it takes to save $20,000) is to endlessly ridicule my new co-workers without them ever knowing about it. And so it shall be…

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