Monday

I am completely repulsed by people who say things like "oh you have a case of the Mondays?" Ugh. If by that you mean am I still slightly hung over, I didn't have time to shower this morning (woke up at 7:35am when I have to leave by 7:50am- true story), and I just realized that I shaved my left leg twice (last night when I did take a shower) and not my right leg at all.... then yes, I most certainly do have a case of the Mondays. Or I would just say that I'm freaking tiiired- no need to give it a cute name. No one has ever accused me of being a morning person. In fact, (this is embarrassing) the only reason why I ever remember my cell phone, my breakfast, my morning drink, my lunch, my mid-day apple, a bra- is because my amazeballs boyfriend is a morning person. He recently chased after my car through our neighborhood to give me my cell phone- The mission was not a success (I was busy doing my makeup) but the act of heroism is still very much appreciated.

I am the first to admit I would be a complete disaster without the aid of this badass multitasker. But here is my question- how do I repay such selflessness? I originally thought that I was just having a tough first week adjusting to my new early start (8:30am), but 4 weeks later it's quite clear that I will be requiring his services daily. (If only I could work in a sponge bath into the equation...) My go-to move, and the most obvious is to repay him with mind-blowing sexual favors... But with my recent hygiene issues, I can't help but feel that he's the one doing the favor. So what do to? If I had any readers/followers I would seek your advice.... but I'm pretty I'm the only one who reads this diary blog. Which is kind of nice in way. I should enjoy this time before the fame and the fans start pouring in and I can't so much as order a cup of coffee without being accosted. I can say anything I want I suppose. Muslim people still scare me when I'm on an airplane and my right eye is slightly droopy. Also, I don't like horses.

Maybe the greatest gift of all would be to just shower. Every. Goddamn. Day. Bah the crazy things people do for love...