FREEDOM

Sooo where to begin??? I apologize for my 2 week absence but once I explain myself to you I think we'll be juuuust fine. Here we go...

18 days ago I walk into work- coming down from my weekend, stiffled by an overwhelming feeling of dread, filled with anxiety- just a normal Monday. The Friday before, I had a serious talk with Sue (the owner), James, and our head of HR. They made it very clear that I was to begin making sales calls on Monday. So there I was, ready for battle. I obsessed all weekend about the goddamn calls. But I have to say, I got to a good place. I decided that the Universe clearly intended for me to make cold calls for some ungodly reason. But you have to trust the Universe. Maybe I murdered a baby in my past life and I was being punished accordingly? Makes sense.

As soon as I arrive James tells me that we need to speak with the Head of HR- just the three of us. Yeah gurl, that's right. Just the three of us. As we all know I'm no novice when it comes to getting canned. Let's just say if you get pulled into HR first thing in the morning with your immediate supervisor it's usually not regarding your candidicy for employee of the month. So there we were. I knew exactly what was coming. I was calm as a newborn suckling mother's milk. Silence. Finally HR girl goes for it.

"We all talked after our meeting on Friday and we've decided to make today your last day."

Holy shitpenis. My heart skips a beat. Is it true?? This is the moment that I have been plotting since I stepped foot inside of my tiny cubicle. She goes on to say it's not me, it's the position that doesn't work. They're taking my position and making it two full-time positions. One entry level admin, one highly experienced sales person. I'm pretty sure she said something about everyone being cripilingly devistated to see me go- something about I'm the most attractive person the company has ever seen. I can't recall. I was too busy planning the rest of my life. I said my goodbyes, took my severace check, some office supplies (don't you dare judge me- I just lost my job and stamps are like $4 each these days) and off I went to unleash my newfound freedom.

SO these past two weeks have been filled with bike riding to yoga, afternoon movie marathons, and meeting friends for drinks. I even applied for a job. That's right- working part-time for a sculpture garden. I'll keep you updated. As hard as it is to make myself get behind a computer, I'll do it for you. That's love right there.

Here's to hoping you all get laid off soon!! :) WOOOOOO HOOOOOO