Monday, November 14, 2011

A quick comment... on comments

Australia's Surfing Life has been kind enough to indulge my little writing fantasy by posting a few of my articles on their website. You may notice a little hiccup in the comment section where I seem to have disappointed one of my fans. She might not consider herself a 'fan' per se but as a writer I can take the occasional creative liberty. She left the following comment:

If you want to surf with your girlfriend, then get a girlfriend who HAS A SCRAP OF SELF RESPECT AND CONFIDENCE! Not someone who compares her learning curve to a retarded dog. Because girls LOVE surfing. Like me! And lots and lots of other women! (Not just lesbians either!!) Self-confident women love having adventures, especially outdoors.

Wanna surf with your girlfriend? Don't date an insecure little pansy.

Hey Surfing Life Magazine!!!: Please offer paid employment, income, and professional acknowledgement to ACTUAL WOMEN SURFERS who are great writers and experts at their craft! There's a lot of us out there, not just wannabe princesses...

Rather than wasting the time of ASL readers by responding on their website, I have saved my response for this blog (alright so I was told I would seem cooler if I just let it go)... so I'm letting go... by saying this:

Dear Evin,

I couldn’t help but notice that you seem quite upset. Seeing as we seemed to have started a friendly online correspondence I was hoping I could impose a few thoughts upon you…

Surly as a woman of great confidence and, if I may, a woman of the highest composure, you are aware that one need not draw attention to her confidence and self respect because it would be too obvious to do so. I find it much more subtle of a tactic to sleep with as many people as possible until you fill the deep void burning inside you.

As a one-time-bi-curious-when-drunk-abroad female myself, who am I to insult the lesbian population? I was merely pointing out that the homosexual female community tends to have a strong affinity to the outdoors- and they're typically well equipped for any adventure. You seem to identify yourself as a straight woman. To that I say, don't knock it 'til you've tried it, sister. 

And I’m not sure what fuels your aversion to golden retrievers, but I assure you that my dog Goldy was a canine of staggering intelligence and not ‘retarded’ as you have suggested. Admittedly, he did have a fondness for his own feces and he ate his leg until it was raw, but which one of us is perfect at the end of the day?

Surfer's Girlfriend

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