Hall of Shame

Let's go over some do's and don'ts for submitting headshots on one's resume.

First of all, don't. That's right, there's really no need to include a headshot of yourself when applying for a $15/hour Executive Assistant position. The only exception to this is if you are incredibly good looking and you know what I mean when we say that we need "polished professionals" for this position. No offense, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of polished professionalism going on. Legally, I can't discriminate based on age, gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. When you submit a pic of yourself it puts us in an awkward situation. Plus, don't you want to get the interview? Based on these pictures I'm not sure what your objective is.

If you're going to send a picture, my advice is to make sure it looks something like the following:

This girl gets it. She's attractive. She knows it- great. What I'm mostly impressed by is that her rack is appropriately covered and she's not doing anything creepy. Sold.

... I can't quite say the same for the following headshots. Why anyone would want to send pics like these on a Resume is beyond me, but these are in the Don't category: (Remember folks, you're trying to get an interview/job.)

WTF? The most heinous part of this picture isn't the fact that he's sleeping, it's that he's wearing a puka shell necklace. There is never an excuse for puka shells. Shame on you.

If I can see the top of your titays.... it means you're not quite grasping the polished professional look we're going for.

Ummm yeah... not much to say about this one other than you're creepy and I'm not bringing you in for an interview

Hall of Shame

My job requires me to look through hundreds of resumes per week. Living in Los Angeles, we get quite a few applicants who bless us with a headshot of themselves. Why they feel like this is necessary for an admin position paying $12-15/hour I'm not sure. But who am I to turn down an opportunity?? Perhaps they feel that they are SO attractive that I will have to call them for an interview? False. I will post you on my blog instead though. Which when you think about it- is a much better prize. Fame will feed you. Fame will always feed you. Below are some less offensive headshots. I call this category "I'm white so maybe I'll have a better chance of getting hired:"

I think you should know that homeboy on the right also mentions that he wrote a song called "Pillow-fights and PDA" as well as the classic hit "Like a Beacon of Light"....seriously. Have I mentioned I really enjoy my job?

Below is one of my favs:

 Ummmmmmm Bitch, are you in a BAR?!? I obviously support your right to drink, but really??? On your RESUME?? And don't think that side boob action does anything for me. As I've mentioned, I consider myself to be a gay man. Keep it classy, girl.

This next one wins hands down. Why you ask? Because she only submitted a picture... a full body picture....that her daughter took... in her bedroom.... And this is why I love her.